#18 - Michael Jackson Songs

Top 5: Michael Jackson Songs

1. Billie Jean
2. Thriller
3. Smooth Criminal
4. Beat It
5. Bad

Billie Jean has one of the greatest bass lines ever written. That aside, the song is brilliant all the way through and introduced the world to the moonwalk. Thriller comes in a close second. It was the title track of his greatest album and gave us the greatest music video of all time. Zombies dancing in unison...what more could you ask for? Billie Jean gave us the moonwalk, but Smooth Criminal gave us the lean. I had an idea how they did it in the video, but could never figure out how he did it live.... until now:

http://www.smooth-criminal.com/the-professor-45.htm

Damn he was a clever man.

Beat It and Bad are almost tied in my opinion. Both were solid hits and had memorable videos.

Honorable mentions: Black or White if you like his new stuff and I Want You Back if you like his really old stuff that he didn't write.

#17 - Top 5 Simpsons Characters (Non-Family)

Top 5: Simpsons Characters (Non-Family)

1. Ralph Wiggum
2. Sideshow Bob
   
3. Mr. Burns
4. Troy McClure
5. Duffman

First off, I'm sorry that this has become a weekly blog. I wanted to keep up the pace, but maintaing the daily photo blog and this blog was impossible. I'll just make sure to only pick the best topics for the weekly Top 5. On with the show!

Ralph has always been a memorable and entertaining character. If anyone wants to argue, I have 4 words for you: "I bent my Wookie."

Sideshow Bob has been the focus of some of the best Simpsons episodes. Kelsey Grammer always does a great job and ensures a great show everytime he appears.

Mr. Burns is a classic character that you can't imagine the show without. I love every episode that shows how feeble he is.

Tory McClure makes the list to gives props to Phil Hartman. It's been 8 years since he died, and we all still miss him.

Some might wonder why Duffman made the list at #5. I wanted to put Moe there, but lets be honest, it just wouldn't be very Moe to let him on the list.

Moe Szyslak: The saddest cartoon character ever.

Honorable mention:

Hans Moleman

Uter

Inanimate Carbon Rod

Zutroy

Day 16 - Tarantino Films

Top 5: Tarantino Films

1. Pulp Fiction
2. Kill Bill: Volume 1
3. CSI: Buried Alive (Parts 1 and 2)
4. Reservoir Dogs
5. Kill Bill: Volume 2

Pulp Fiction is one of the greatest contibutors to pop culture. The film gave us numerous quotable lines:

Fabienne: Whose motorcycle is this?
Butch: It's a chopper baby.
Fabienne: Whose chopper is this?
Butch: It's Zed's.
Fabienne: Who's Zed?
Butch: Zed's dead baby.... Zed's dead.

It also inspired one of the best Springfield episodes: 22 Short Films About Springfield

Kill Bill:Volume 1 was a great action/adventure film that my dad argues did a better job capturing the essence of Japaense culture than Memoirs of a Geisha. It was interesting from start to finish, and if you don't like the film because of the outrageous anmounts of blood, you simply didn't get it.

C.S.I.: Buried Alive was a short film that will go down in history as the greatest episodes of CSI ever. It was shocking and brilliant. Don't argue.

Reservoir Dogs is a classic and started at #2, and kept slipping..Maybe I just need to watch it again to remind myself how much I loved it:

Mr. Pink: Why can't we pick our own colors?
Joe: No way. Tried it once. It doesn't work. You get four guys all fightin' over who gets to be Mr. Black. They don't know each other, so nobody wants to back down. No way. I pick. You're Mr. Pink.

Day 15 - 80s Cartoon Villains

Top 5: 80s Cartoon Villains

1. Megatron
2. Skeletor
3. Serpentor
4. Dr. Claw
5. Shredder

Ok, Keen was right.. Megatron was a villain who turned into a gun... how crazy is that? He deserves the top spot for that reason alone. Skeletor has a great design and is a truly scary villain for a 8 year old child. Serpentor showed up on G.I.Joe and kicked Cobra Commander's ass. While Cobra Commander was a joke, Serpentor was a true nemesis. Dr. Claw and Shredder were both great character designs that were dumbed down for kids. In reality, Dr. Claw would have killed Inspector Gadget in the first episode, and sold Penny off into white slavery.

Day 14 - Beatles Songs

Top 5: Beatles Songs

1. In My Life
2. Come Together
3. I Am the Walrus
4. Something
5. I Saw Her Standing There

Well Sam, here's one just for you... This was the most difficult list so far. So many good songs, and only 5 spots. I tried to fill them as follows:

Best overall song that has everything you could want in a Beatles song: In My Life
It is so beautiful and so perfect. Amazing melody, beautiful harmonies and Sir George Martin's harpsichord solo in the middle just adds to the magic of the song. I loved it the first time I heard it, and still love it to this day. I think the older I get, the more poignant the lyrics will become. I can hear those opening chords in my head, and I know I made the right choice. Hey Jude made a strong push in this category, but it seems a little worn out these days. Maybe seeing Na-Na-Na spelled out in the crowd at the Super Bowl spoiled the song for me.

Best Protest/John Lennon Song: Come Together
This song just edged out the fast version of Revolution in this category. In addition, every gig Sam and I played together, featured us doing a damn fine version of this song.

Best "lets take acid and see what happens" Song: I am the Walrus
This song is brilliant, and as cracked out as they come. The orchestra adds to the madness and genius of this tune. Ok kids, drugs are bad... unless you are a musician. Ask Ray Charles! Strawberry Fields and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds were other close runners up in this category. Oh, and don't forget about Happiness is a Warm Gun.

Best George Harrison Song: Something
While My Guitar Gently Weeps and Here Comes the Sun are the other obvious choices. However, Something is simply too lovely to ignore.

Best Early Beatles Song: I Saw Her Standing There
Out of all their early songs, this one is my favourite. I really think it held up better over time than songs like Please Please Me and She Loves You.

Day 13 - White NBA Players

Top 5: White NBA Players (Current)

1. Steve Nash
2. Dirk Nowitzki
3. Andrei Kirilenko
4. Pau Gasol
5. Peja Stojakovic

Ok, Steve Nash is the NBA MVP and therefore tops this list. Dirk is just a mismatch nightmare. The man is 7'0 and won the three-point contest... just sick... AK47 is in the news lately because his wife admits she lets him sleep with one groupie a year. Although some of you may wonder just who the hell is lining up to sleep with Andrei Kirilenko, you can't deny that the boy can score, and play mad D. Pau Gasol is having a great year: 20 PPG, 9 RPG, almost 2 BPG and 4 APG. Those are some pretty impressive numbers. Peja at #5 is a tough call.. He isn't having the most stellar year, and guys like Manu Ginobili are getting better and better. However, he is still one of the best pure shooters in the game. Still, at 19.6 PPG since moving to Indiana, Peja isn't excatly having a terrible year either.

Day 12 - Reality TV Shows

Top 5: Reality TV Shows

1. American Idol (Fox)
   
2. The Amazing Race (CBS)
   
3. Survivor (CBS)
4. Extreme Makeover Home Edition (ABC)
   
5. The Apprentice (NBC)

American Idol is still the king of Reality TV. It's irrelevant that Kelly Clarkson has been the only super successful Idol. It is still super entertaining television. The Amazing Race is back after a terrible "family edition". It is one of the few shows that I watch on a weekly basis. Survivor has fallen in recent years, but I still have a sentimental place for it:

Oh Colleen Haskell ... what are you up to these days?

Amber Brkich. Damn you Rob.

Even though I want to set Extreme Makeover: Home Edition's Ty Pennington on fire, the show is just feel good TV and is always fun to watch. I honestly would have put The Surreal Life on the list, but I have to respect The Apprentice even if I have never watched it. (I wouldn't have heared the end of it from Sam) However, the episode of the Surreal Life 5 when the housemates played baseball against the celebirty impersonators was one of the most entertaining moments in TV history. They had a Jose Canseco look-alike that played better than the real Jose Canseco. Classic.

Day 11 - Worst Movie Sequels

Top 5: Worst Movie Sequels

1. Batman and Robin
2. The Matrix Reloaded
3. Speed 2
4. Star Wars Episode I
5. Jurassic Park III

How do you go from Jack Nicholson's amazing portrayal of the Joker, to George Clooney with nipples on his bat costume? Anyone who has seen this craptacular will remember the terrible cold related puns Mr. Freeze used throughout the film: "Chill!!!" Joel Schumacher should never be allowed to make another film. On the other hand, The Matrix Reloaded is the most disapointing sequel of all time. The original was a brilliant and thought provoking film. University Professors wrote lectures based on the original film's multi-layered imagery. Reloaded was simply terrible: The world is about to end, what do we do? Have an underground rave!!! Crap, crap crap crap....

The rest speak for themselves. Speed 2 was so bad, even Keeanu Reeves knew not to get involved. Here are the honorable mentions:

Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
Grease 2
Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows
Caddyshack II
Rocky V
Teen Wolf Too

Day 10 - 80s Films

Top 5: 80s Films

1. The Goonies (1985)
2. Back to the Future (1985)
3. Ghostbusters (1984)
4. Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
5. The Princess Bride (1987)
   

Why are most of these films kids films? Cause in 1985, I was a kid. The Goonies is every kids dream. Running around caves, pirate gold, boobie traps, the coolest water slide, and a monster named Sloth...what more could a kid ask for? Even though most kids today have no idea what a Delorean is, Back to the Future is just as great today as it was then. Ghostbusters seems to get better with time. I loved it when I was young, and now that I'm older, I get all of the sexual innuendos:

[When under threat from the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man]

Peter: "Hey, this Mr. Stay-Puft is okay! He's a sailor, he's in New York... we get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble!"

Ferris Bueller lip synching Twist and Shout in downtown Chicago is one of the greatest moments in film.

If I was a little older in the 80s, perhaps I would have given props to The Breakfast Club, Dirty Dancing, Top Gun or Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

But... oh well... time for some Truffle Shuffle...

Day 9 - Ugliest Pro Sports Jerseys

Top 5: Ugliest Pro Sports Jersey

1. 1984 Grant Fuhr Campbell Confrence All-Star Jersey - $350 US
2. 1997 Tracy McGrady Raptors Home Jersey - $300 US
3. 1983 Dave Williams Vancouver Canucks Home Jersey - $300 US
4. 1978 J.R. Richard Houston Astros Road Jersey - $300 US
5. 1982 Rob Ramage Colorado Rockies Road Jersey - $350 US

Ok, there have been a lot of ugly jerseys in pro sports (see the honorable mentions at the bottom). However, only a select few of these eye sores are available horrendously over-priced at http://www.mitchellandness.com/

The Campbell Conference jersey is still just ugly. Brown has made a comeback in the last few years, but orange? At least Grant Fuhr can make some extra cash for his coke habit by wearing his old jersey and working as a crossing guard. The Raptors jersey is still horrible. Although some ugly jerseys grow better over time (like the old Denver Nuggets jerseys), this one is still too new, and too ridiculous. I'm not sure who has $350 US to pay for these jerseys, but I guess if you're filthy rich and want to be original Mitchell and Ness would love to take your money. Here are my honorable mentions that are so bad, they should be available on Mitchell and Ness soon enough:

Honorable Mentions:

What the?!?!

Oh god...

Uhhhh....

Who's happy to be playing basketball in Denver?

What is that Buck doing to that ball?

Last but not least:

The 1984 Denver Nuggets "Gay Pride" Jersey
They were way ahead of their time.

Day 8 - Rap Albums of the Last 15 Years

Top 5: Rap Albums of the Last 15 Years

1. 2001 - Dr. Dre
2. Stankonia - Outkast
3. The Marshall Mathers LP - Eminem
4. Ill Communication - Beastie Boys
5. Life After Death - Notorious B.I.G.

The Chronic 2001 has some of my favourite rap tracks of the last 15 years. Still D.R.E. has one of the best riffs in any song. Along with Forgot About Dre, the CD is as cliche as they come, but so damn catchy. It is not as brilliant or influencial as Stankonia, it is just a sentimental favourite.

"In the home of drivebys and ak-matics....Barbeques every day, driving fancy cars..."

On the complete opposite spectrum is Stankonia. Bombs Over Baghdad blew my mind when I first heard it. Ms. Jackson and So Fresh, So Clean were also great tracks on that album. Upon second thought, maybe it deserves the #1 spot. The Marshall Mathers LP with Stan and The Real Slim Shady is probably the best album from one of the most popular and influencial rap artists of the last 15 years. Ill Communication: Sabotage is one of the best rap songs of the last 15 years and makes this my album of choice from The Beastie Boys. Hello Nasty is also a solid album, but Sabotage is just too strong of a track. Rounding out the top 5 is Life After Death. Hypnotize and Mo Money Mo Problems are just great tracks.